Research on the animal known as the Utti

An Utti, as I have found out, is an extremely stupid beast.
It cannot comprehend the world in any scale,
it cannot comprehend its own stupidity,
and it cannot comprehend the fact that most regular humans are way 'smarter' than it.
In fact, it considers itself highly intelligent,
which is also more proof to the fact that it is indeed the opposite.
It, quite simply put, cannot also understand any higher things about life.

An Utti cannot never be happy in any way.
Its main purpose in life, I speculate, is to make the lives
of the ones it lives with as miserable as possible.

It keeps complaining and complaining about little, minor matters
and whines and bitches, and when it's out of things to whine
and complain about, it takes up some even smaller things
to bitch, whine and complain about.
This has been known to drive the ones it lives with, quite irritated.
There are also cases where, the Utti, having irritated too many people,
has ended up taking a long tour of the bottom of the local waters
wearing some heavy footwear specially designed for this purpose.

When engaged in combat, an Utti seems to prefer looking stupid,
and twisting its foot in the air in spastic movements.
It is believed that it considers the movements to work to scare off hostiles.

An Utti is easily recognized by its hair, nicknamed 'Hair Miracle' for that,
for they resemble a mop, and by indentations in its skull,
visible on its forehead, and from this it is speculated that
the Utti evolved from Cro-Magnon, though not very far.
However, some scientists claim that it resembles a monkey
more than a Cro-Magnon in some ways, proving its primitivity.

An other thing to recognize an Utti from is the cap on its head.
Studying the habits of an Utti I've found out that it seldom
removes the cap, usually even keeping it on its head when sleeping.
Some people speculate that an Utti uses the cap to keep its bald spot from sight,
and other people believe that it has semi-grafted itself onto the head,
and that removing and separation will cause ultimate pain to the Utti in question,
eventually even leading to ultimate separation anxiety and, finally, madness.
Therefore it simply cannot afford to lose the cap.

When you meet an Utti, use large precautions avoiding its attention,
for they are truly an irritating species.
If an Utti moves into your near vicinity, you should terminate it.. on sight,
or at least move on to other surroundings, and hope that this
primate doesn't follow you.

In this document I stress the point of calling an Utti 'it' and not 'him',
since my studies show that beyond the rather humanish look,
the Utti is still nothing but a dumb animal.

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