In front of you, a plate with processed organic matter in it, a fork sticking out
like a warning flag on deadly ground. A need to constantly build your rotting corpse,
a low level requirement of your disgusting living bacterial nest.
This is the paradox of a human, the most widely accepted form of self-mutilation.
Knowing that every kernel of wheat, every piece of rice, every loaf of bread contributes
actively to your already-repulsive mess of a body gradually turning into a disgusting grave site.
Yet, you must devour them all and enjoy it, lest you grow weak, and ill, and in the long run, dead.
A bittersweet enjoyment, how unfortunate that the man has been programmed
to enjoy its own gradual destruction, but it is on the other hand
only too obvious that the suicidal behaviour never stopped simply there.


Why is it that a human being is always so afraid of pain?
Someone once said that a human being may stop being afraid of death
but that one will never stop truly being afraid of pain.
An interesting thing about this is that some forms of pain can be learned
to enjoy, even if the term "learn" may not be entirely accurate in this case.
Pain is also a stern lesson in ineffectiveness and idiocy inherent in nature;
An intended warning system, pain will always be there to remind you of things
harmful to you, both on mental and physical scale. This sounds like a good
solution, until you explore the idea further. Pain is, at times, known to get too
intense to allow for any clear thinking, mobility or action. A warning system
designed to destroy the target it should be warning and informing, how horribly useless.
Perhaps the idea is to force, to push the target into things, but you cannot push
one into anything save for madness if you clot its mind full of pain.
This gives you clue to the nature's tendency to create things that are simply born to end,
suicidal little things that just are, without a need or proper reason.


To give people a sense of peace of mind, the society fills its tiny holes
with convenient white lies, just absurd enough to make them acceptable, believable.
And life is cracking at the seams every day, filled with lies, limitations and
silently accepted ground rules, the existence of which everybody will
normally be found denying - with perfect dishonesty. Dishonesty to what, that one's unsaid.
One of the problems with everyday life is that human beings are getting relatively old.
There isn't anything that still hasn't been said. Everything is a cliché.
Mankind is dying of old age. But even that is old news, so blah.
Talking has gone cheap. If you say something that you regard true or wise,
you will find someone calling you pretentious, or plagiatory.
And there isn't a right side anymore. If you say that money isn't everything,
you're either rich or poor, and in the case of the first one it's definitely easy
to make such a claim when you've got no problems in that area to speak of.
The latter, naturally, is just fooling himself, the self-deluding lying bastard.
The same goes to the old argument of "looks don't matter"
or its upgraded variant "it's the inner beauty that matters"
(both blatant major lies to fill convenience holes if you've even seen any),
and to about every other argument you can think of in a short time.
Nothing can be done "right". And I'm spouting obvious lines even now.


Some things in this world of ours turn into some kind of pseudo-taboos
even if it isn't intended. I will present an example now.
From a point of view, a problem with people is that they kill themselves.
Well, since this is a problem that we're talking about and not, say,
a humane choice, it needs to be kept at a minimum if not completely stopped.
Now, the solution to this is of course what you hear and see and read;
Lists describing telltale signs of a potential suicider. Now, good-intentioned and all,
but not very effective. How I perceive this is that all this has brought on the fact,
merely talking about suicide seems to have gotten a "bragging" layer over it.
You can't talk about suicide or the prospect of performing exactly that without
sounding like you want to brag or shock people or shit like that.
Anyway, I'm not even going to go into the matters of "we should have known"
(Damn right you should've known, but you're all closed-eye fucks. Oops, I did.)
or "don't, you have so much to live for" ([laughs]), but, uh.. well, hmph. Sentence terminated.


That's all there is..

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