Welcome to our world. Population: Conclaves of hubristic middle-roaders declaring everything can be overcome by just willing it. You know the type - folks viewing the world from within a major memetic Plato's cave. So many people have neither perspective nor capacity to grasp world's interaction, or even their own personal limits in spectrum of experience. Ignorance rocks. It also tends to set the rules and provide answers. Along with some vitamins!

I do not want any fucking answers from people who've never had to deal with the questions. Even less keen I am on addictive memetic platitudes; Jesus saves, mind over matter. Just be yourself, and deal with it.

So far I'm beginning to be a little more successful myself, but not everything in life can necessarily be "dealt with" or overcome by any person. It is truly both amusing and horrifying how people often flock spontaneously together to defend any given status quo to roll the fault on the receiving party, even with a worldful of atrocity that really can mess you up permanently available and on exhibition. I feel nauseous whenever people enter the stage where they have to play the Free Will card to attach blame and judgment on the recipient and their 'choices', that may indeed be those in the dimmest sense, quasi-choices. Sure seems this way: Folks that only come equipped with a mental hammer to nail problems down reign supreme, and those self-satisfying bullshit pseudo-solutions rendered useless via oversimplification, like rounding pi to exactly three, drip out as toxic sludge.

"There're no victims, only volunteers!" This quote amused me to no end. The wrath of Godwin shall keep me from pointing to some of our history's most popular volunteers, but I'm confident you see the point. Even if you just bet those rape victims are just asking for it. Use the popular solution and roll the fault. I have once stated that pro-lifer females would benefit from a forcible impregnation of the worst kind. The sentiment remains, even if the fundamentalist icing doesn't: People should sometimes be dragged kicking and screaming into perspective.

With my history, it isn't any miracle I've been a serious misanthrope. Ever since bad things started and kept on coming, there's been precious little in my life to steer towards nice and fuzzy alternatives. My slight distrust and less slight disgust of people in general has been tremendous. Yes, I know misanthropy to be just as misguided and stupid as philanthropy, but I couldn't help myself. Like Orwell stated, there isn't really any reason why hatred can't be as powerful a constructive force as the concept of love. Whoever claims otherwise is just really ill-informed, like saying crime doesn't pay. I'll get to that later.

I've hated so much, but it helped me only so far. I know it's a defensive mechanism to compensate for my sensitivity and the complete lack of caring for me on behalf of the whole living world, but it's definitely helped me some. Now, without those mechanisms I'm bound to feel a lot worse in my life when I fail to burst my bubble of solitude.

Hate.

The word is wielded with some inflation in general dialogue, but with me it used to be the real deal: The kind of hate-anger I had in me that has made morally less-doctrined people burn vehicles or homosexuals on the streets. The initial helplessness of my childhood became rage and it gave way to decentralized hatred; Such was the end product of my childhood, and since I've had to deal with the end product every day I have to say it hasn't been pretty or convenient.

I used to be a sort of an eternal 'outsider' without an 'inside'. Whenever I found common ground with people I could quickly notice things to dislike about them. I fucking despised the other outsiders just as much as the rest. You may like to think that "people are people", and will always know how to relate, connect, meet, interact and get along, but they really are learnt traits and you're effectively screwed without mentors. That's how it was for me. Nobody was ever there for me to siphon skills off from, and as a result I produced social skills comparable to the synthetic tea in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: not quite entirely unlike the right stuff, but remarkably close. I still have serious problems with that. I just don't seem to know how to reach out beyond myself. I hate the situation and feel incredibly lonely at times, but it doesn't correct the problem.

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